I Wanna Be Around

So I get a text yesterday from Counselor, "Sorry I didn't get back Saturday." At the moment attorneys are not high on my list of evolved human beings. (I got called for jury duty. No biggie. I'm happy to do my civic duty but as luck would have it I got stuck in a pool for a potential trial that may last 3+ weeks. We're still in voir dire but unless I get a preemptory challenge I think I'm juror #7. I'm going to blog daily about the trial but won't be able to post about it until either a) I get kicked off or b) the trial is over. ) 

I do find it an odd coincidence though. I don't hear from Counselor for years and then just before I have jury duty, as if right on cue, he enters stage right. "If you're interested, I'm going to try this place this week if you'll let me treat." Yeah, I'm totally intersted in being stood up twice in one week by someone who 'treats' me like an afterthought or (as Vera Farmiga so accurately stated in Up In The Air) a parenthesis. Go eat some tainted meat Counselor. M where are you? Right now would be a great time to jump in and prove that all men I'm attracted to aren't witty, charming, damaged, soulless upright corpses. Or maybe just show me that I'm not crazy and can actually have good judgement about a man. Any time. Just dive right in. I don't mind the interruption. Really.

Yes, I realize I'm the damaged one by even giving a fat rat's ass about what Counselor does. He's like acid reflux. Just keeps coming up and burns on the way down. I admit it. I'm a mean, vindictive, childish brat when it comes to him. I Wanna Be Around when somebody breaks his heart, to watch the pain rise as the tears well up, look him straight in the eyes and say, "Remember how this feels. Right now. And for as long as you live don't ever make someone feel like you do now. Ever."

I haven't really thought about Counselor in 3 maybe 4 years and now since I'm writing again it's all just flowing out of me... like projectile vomit. Apparently I've got a bit of lingering resentment. Where's the Chris Botti song about that?