It just occurred to me I had The Year of Botti but haven't taken the time to have The Year of Amy. I think that starts now. In actuality The Year of Botti was all about me, not him. I miss it. I kind of miss blogging. It was pretty expensive to jaunt across the country and I felt bad about leaving George Bennett for over 36 hours. Not a very good mommy. But I needed to do that for me.
I'm sitting on a patio (ok, a lanai) of a multimillion dollar home of someone I met once in Vegas. Friend of a friend kind of thing. The view is spectacular. Breathtaking. Something even Instagram can't duplicate. You have to experience the wind, the clapping of the palm tree leaves, the tiny specs in the ocean that are huge boats and yachts, the smell of fresh air. Im' on a hillside overlooking the pacific. I hear a tiny thump. I look off in the distance and see a couple of whales breaching. They're smashing their tails on the water and about 10 seconds later I can hear it all the way up here.
yesterday I went deep sea fishing. One of the most amazing things I've ever done. I got a fish to bite but lost him. Once I got into the seat I feel like it was 10 minutes of reeling. It was really probably only 3 minutes. Whatever. It was cool.
I also went snorkeling. I wasn't going to do it. I felt dumb and I knew I'd have trouble in the water. But I said fuck it and went against my instinct and dove in. I'm so glad I did. Not just to say I did it and not even to see the fish and coral. I did it because I wasn't going to. Make sense. I was more proud that I did it when I didn't want to than any beauty down below. Ok, it was cool and I did enjoy it. Hell, I'm never gonna see any of these people again.
The captain was cool. Good looking too. You could tell he was hot when he was younger. Kinda reminded me of Billy. Or what Billy will look like in 20 years. Tan, white teeth, younger wife. You get the picture.
I have no idea why these people are being so kind to me and generous but I'm just going with it. I have a feeling that these women (and men) are not among the .5% or even the 2% but definitely up there. Do I want this life? I don't know. Prob not. It's not really me. Don't get me wrong. The lifestyle is great but I don't think this is for me. Or maybe it will be in 20 years. I kinda see the DG girls becoming them more than me. I took a different path. I'm ok with it. I just have to figure out how to let someone into my life. I'm single for a reason. Because I put up barriers. Plenty of people who look like me found the love of their life, or even a boyfriend for fuck's sake. I can too. I just haven't tried. I think this is the year I try.
I don't know if I'll be different when I get back to Vegas. I'm sure a part of me will. I did this for me. I have to remember that. I don't have to tell a soul where I am/was. And really, no one actually gives a shit. That's the truth.
I'm sitting on a patio (ok, a lanai) of a multimillion dollar home of someone I met once in Vegas. Friend of a friend kind of thing. The view is spectacular. Breathtaking. Something even Instagram can't duplicate. You have to experience the wind, the clapping of the palm tree leaves, the tiny specs in the ocean that are huge boats and yachts, the smell of fresh air. Im' on a hillside overlooking the pacific. I hear a tiny thump. I look off in the distance and see a couple of whales breaching. They're smashing their tails on the water and about 10 seconds later I can hear it all the way up here.
yesterday I went deep sea fishing. One of the most amazing things I've ever done. I got a fish to bite but lost him. Once I got into the seat I feel like it was 10 minutes of reeling. It was really probably only 3 minutes. Whatever. It was cool.
I also went snorkeling. I wasn't going to do it. I felt dumb and I knew I'd have trouble in the water. But I said fuck it and went against my instinct and dove in. I'm so glad I did. Not just to say I did it and not even to see the fish and coral. I did it because I wasn't going to. Make sense. I was more proud that I did it when I didn't want to than any beauty down below. Ok, it was cool and I did enjoy it. Hell, I'm never gonna see any of these people again.
The captain was cool. Good looking too. You could tell he was hot when he was younger. Kinda reminded me of Billy. Or what Billy will look like in 20 years. Tan, white teeth, younger wife. You get the picture.
I have no idea why these people are being so kind to me and generous but I'm just going with it. I have a feeling that these women (and men) are not among the .5% or even the 2% but definitely up there. Do I want this life? I don't know. Prob not. It's not really me. Don't get me wrong. The lifestyle is great but I don't think this is for me. Or maybe it will be in 20 years. I kinda see the DG girls becoming them more than me. I took a different path. I'm ok with it. I just have to figure out how to let someone into my life. I'm single for a reason. Because I put up barriers. Plenty of people who look like me found the love of their life, or even a boyfriend for fuck's sake. I can too. I just haven't tried. I think this is the year I try.
I don't know if I'll be different when I get back to Vegas. I'm sure a part of me will. I did this for me. I have to remember that. I don't have to tell a soul where I am/was. And really, no one actually gives a shit. That's the truth.
