Freedom

A long time ago my friend Dena recommended a book to me. Before I tell you about it you need to know I absolutely LOATHE reading books. I'll read a Steve Martini courtroom thriller on a long plane ride or articles online but I'm not the kind of person who enjoys reading for pleasure. Oprah will not be calling me for her book club.

Dena and I were talking one day and how we were both going thru something with the current men in our lives. She said, "Amy. You HAVE to get this book. It's called Why Men Love Bitches (by Sherry Argov)." I'm not really into self-help or blame-it-on-yourself-or-someone-else books but this one sounded fun. I read an excerpt from Amazon and thought, what the hell, and bought it. It's a comical read - pretty much what you'd expect from the title. Don't be so available. Don't let him think you're too interested. Don't nag. Don't give him too much power. Let him rescue you occasionally. Make him feel needed. Let him miss you. Be a challenge, not easy. Don't be afraid to not be without him. All that shit. The funny thing is, I actually go back to this book occasionally and re-read chapters. Some of them contain gems. It's like watching a Nancy Meyers movie for the 10th time on HBO just because you want to be reminded of what you should do.

In stark comparison Why Men Love Bitches is lying next to my Bible in my nightstand. Yeah, lately I've been blogging some God-ish stuff and yes, I recently joined Green Valley Presbyterian Church but I assure you I'm not a bible-thumper or a religious nut, I'm not a born-again Christian and I'm not going to try to convert anyone. I'm far to selfish to give a fat rat's ass about what you believe. Anyone who's read more than 2 of my posts knows I'm much more sinner than saint. About a year ago I wanted to go to church for Easter and Counselor decided to go with me. Ever since then we've both been going - first together, then alone, now separately. The pastor is just so fucking good at speaking - THAT'S what keeps me coming back. If my soul gets saved in the meantime and if God decides to move me in ways I'm not conscious of, well all the better. Sometimes just showing up is enough, for now. 

So for the 2nd Friday in a row I'm home alone with George Bennett, and not out. Of course I went to Seablue to pick up a to-go bag but was there for less than an hour, enough time for a salad and couple glasses of fizzy-water while my steak cooked. It feels good to just hang out at home. I like the privacy, the Freedom, the independence. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.