Beautiful Girl

Tuesday. TWR. Tuesdays With Rodney. We headed to Fiamma like we normally do. When we walked in Sumo was sitting at a table with Trubes and a blond. The bar was packed with other execs where we normally sit. Not a good sign. In my head I'm thinking, "No way I'm staying here more than an hour." I just wasn't in the mood for all this today. I just wanted to sit and have a quiet drink with the gang. We ended up with about 7 people @ our table. Eventually people funneled out and it was just me, Sumo & Big Rod. 

The guys were talking about hot women (as they do) and it reminded me of a conversation I had with a colleague. She told me one of the girls that worked out @ Wet Republic told her how much she made last season. It was well over $250,000. For 8 months. I was absolutely floored. I had no idea they made that much. I guess it explains why the girl was crying when she didn't get the job this season. I'd be bawling my head off too. (Although my second thought was what the hell did you do with the $250k you made last year?) I mean no disrespect to the girls who work out there as cocktail servers or models or waitresses or bartenders or whatever the hell they call them. I know they work their perfectly shaped asses & tits off and probably are put in some fairly compromising positions, figuratively speaking, of course.

But I started thinking, if I were born with physical beauty, I wonder, would I still be me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all beautiful in some way and everyone loves puppy dogs & fairy dust. I'm not being self-deprecating. I'm being realistic and asking a real question. Would I have worked as hard as I did in school? Would I still shop @ Talbots & dress conservatively? Would I have the same body image issues? Would I still love men in suits & ties? Would I be kind or entitled? Would I be single? Maybe married with a couple of kids by now? Would I be a porn star? A stripper? An executive on Wall Street? Would I still work or be a stay at home mom? Would be more or less successful than I am now? Would I be divorced? Would I still like jazz? Would I have gone to the University of Minnesota or even bothered with college? Would I have a boob job? Would I ever have left the Twin Cities? Would I have the confidence I do now or more or less? Would I have slept with them men I have? Would I have fallen in love with the man I did?

Of course there's no way of knowing the answers to any of this. And in the end it really doesn't matter. My path was the one I took and at 40 I'm pretty happy with where I am. It just makes me wonder. It's no secret that the Beautiful Girl has the advantage. No, it's not fair. The rest of us just have to work harder to get what we want.