I'm sitting here reading ridiculous emails from work and I think is this all there is? Are you really gonna keep being frustrated by inane people, ridiculous requests and only use 12% of your actual strength? Are you really gonna spend another year being introduced, "This is Amy. She handles all the ushers." Is that all you've accomplished? Is that all you're worth in people's eyes? Is this what you've been reduced to? And the worst part is I've let this happen. What the hell happened?
This past year has been full of change. I got a wake up call in January 2010 from Doc Johnson. Diabetes. Turn your life around or you won't have a life to live. So I did. I stopped drinking, stopped smoking, stopped eating crappy food & started exercising. Cold turkey. A complete 180. It's been great on me physically. I've lost upwards of 35lbs, normal cholesterol, blood back to pre-diabetic levels. As my endocrinologist said, I'm the poster child for Diabetes care. But now I find I've got zero tolerance and zero patience. I drink a gallon of friggin' water a day and I still feel full of this septic emotional sludge that just keeps building and building like a mudslide. Maybe it's this city. Maybe it's work. Maybe it's the people outside of my inner circle. Maybe it's me. Maybe before, all of my inner toxic crap was diluted among the Chivas, Dunhills & Big Macs and now that those are all gone, all that's left is this super-concentrated orb of bitterness and loathing. Ok, that was a bit much. I'm not that dark. I'm not Hunter S. Thompson. But come on. Find the joy. Find love. Find yourself. You're gonna be 40 this year. What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life?
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