Sunday Kind Of Love

I joined Green Valley Presbyterian Church today. Actually it's not a big deal since I've been going there pretty regularly since last April and have been a member of a Presbyterian church since I was a baby. But I made the leap to do it here in Vegas, alone. 

A side tangent: I didn't want to do this alone which is strange because I'm so independent and have done most everything in my life alone and have no problem doing things alone. As a matter of fact, I prefer to do most things alone. I live alone, I travel alone, I eat at restaurants & bars alone, I bought my house alone, I moved away from MN alone. Faith and God is an entirely personal & singular relationship so it's so odd to me that I felt so strongly about wanting to do this with someone. Or maybe I just wanted to do this with Counselor  because I'm looking for a Sunday Kind Of Love.

Today church was packed. Good sign but I got moved from the isle and got bumped in a couple of feet. I don't like sitting in the inside of the pew. I like the end - goes back to my need for an exit route. Yeah, that probably stems from my commitment issues and at an embryonic level being abandoned as an infant. But that's a therapy session for another post. Counselor walked in late (comme d'habitude) and sat on the other side of the sanctuary again. Second time in 2 weeks. I know it's for the best we're not sitting together and I realize I'm the one who pushed him away but it still stung. 

The service ended and I had a half hour before the New Member class started. On my way out of the sanctuary Counselor was there waiting for me. I was glad he did. I hadn't spoken to him in 2 weeks. We walked outside and talked about what was going on in our lives for 10 minutes or so. I was pretty guarded and he could tell. We laughed a little. I told him I was going to the New Member Class and he should come. He passed. Said he wanted to but couldn't commit to the time today. I wanted him to come with me but I know it was for the best he didn't. I can't keep emotionally depending on him. I hadn't planned on doing this with him but I simply didn't want to do it alone. Time to cut the cord. He told me to call him when I finished and maybe we could grab a drink. "I don't have your number," I said. "My new one? Want me to text it to you?"

"Nope," and I turned and walked into the building. Be strong girl. Be strong.

The class was uneventful. When I switched from my childhood church, Central Presbyterian (and the church my family still belongs to) to the one I branched out to when I finished college, Westminster Presbyterian, I'd been thru one of these classes before. It's more a "get to know you" session while they tell you some general principals of what makes a Presbyterian different from a Lutheran from a Catholic. 3 hours later it ended in a prayer welcoming us all to Green Valley Presbyterian. 

As I'm typing this post, I get a text from Counselor. "...Nice to see you today." I responded the same. I'm going to keep the text until midnight then it gets deleted along with his phone number, not because of anything he's done but because I know me. I know at some point in the near future I'll be tempted to call or text him and that can't happen. I'm weak. I admit it. Much like an alcoholic can't have bottle of booze in the house, I can't have access to his phone number. Christ, even after I unfriended him on FB I still managed to private message him. I'm pretty pathetic when it comes to him but I'm working on it. One day at a time. 

Easter Parade

Holy shit I'm going to church with Counselor this morning. Hey, at least I said 'holy.' Talk about an Easter Parade...


Around 8.00a this morning I sent a text to Counselor asking if he wanted to go to church with me for Easter. I didn't think he'd actually be up that early on a Sunday much less respond right away much less say sure he'd go. Just one of several things that shocked me today. He's Catholic but was a good sport and went to a Presbyterian church instead.


I pull into the parking lot at Green Valley Presbyterian Church and I saw him standing on the sidewalk checking his BlackBerry. I immediately smile. Crisp white dress shirt, pale blue striped tie, black slacks. Perfect. To me there's nothing better than a man in a white dress shirt and tie. I was early and he beat me there. Shocker #2. I thought for sure he'd either be late or wouldn't actually be there at all.


We walked in and took a seat in a pew on the house left side. The church is new, rustic beams in the ceiling but modern. Flatscreens all over too. Very non-traditional but it worked. I was a little worried we would have trouble finding a seat because it's Easter but there were plenty. I like sitting on the end so to the end we went. I like knowing I have an escape route.


As we're sitting there I see one of the arena Rock Docs and her hubby walk by. I say a quick hi. They're the only people I recognize, thankfully. The last thing I need is someone to try and recruit me.


The service was surprisingly smart. I'm used to the boring stories of how Christ rose from the dead, blah blah blah. But the pastor Kenneth Harper was a great speaker and kept my attention with contemporary, intelligent reasoning. No preachy-ness. To me he was more like a college lecturer than a pastor. My kind of God guy. I'll be back. Counselor said he like to come back too. It's actually just down the street from his church so we joked that we could alternate each Sunday going to his church, then mine. I know I'll go again. Him, I doubt it. Maybe but I doubt it. It would be nice to have someone who 'gets me' to go to church with though.


At the service they had a small horn trio and timpani drums along with the choir & handbells. Obviously I'm a big fan of the horns and loved hearing them play. I'm assuming they were only there because it was Easter much like back home at Central Presbyterian at Christmas. But I loved it nonetheless. The choir also sang great classics by Handel & Bach. I was so afraid they'd break out the electric guitars or tambourines in which case I told Counselor, "We're outa here."


Counselor and I both filled out the pew cards and stuffed offering envelopes. I don't know why but I was surprised by this (shocker #3). For some reason I thought he'd pass on that. I was glad he didn't.


The service ended and we walk out to the 75 degree Vegas weather. It really was a beautiful day. The kind of day that makes memories stand out more. We bumped into the Rock Dock again. Counselor is remarkably good at making conversation with people so he and the Rock Doc chatted a bit white I caught up with her hubby and his parents.


Counselor took me out to brunch at Green Valley Ranch after church. We had oysters, martinis and mahi-mahi. He was a bit shocked (this time it was his turn) that I ordered a martini but I wanted one. And I usually get what I want. I've been good for 389 days. I deserve one day to be bad. Oysters were great, mahi-mahi was so so, Sapphire martini was delish. I forgot how much I enjoyed them, and quite frankly, his company.


After lunch we hit the sportsbook to bet some horses. There are only 2 people I play ponies with: Counselor and Brener. I didn't hit anything, he hit on one of the last races at Hollywood. I was emailing Brener for tips. Of course most didn't win. But it's always fun to banter with Brener about horses so I didn't mind losing a couple bucks on his 3-6-9 box.


While Counselor was up at the betting window I make a quick call to my family to wish them a happy Easter. They were all at my parents' house. The phone made the rounds and I ended with my dad poking fun at me for actually going to church. "Did the ceiling crack?" he joked. "Nope, and lightening didn't strike me dead either. And I went with a Catholic." I love my dad. He's fun to joke around with. He's got a dry sense of humor.


Sometime around 3.00p Counselor's friend came to join us. He's a good kid, sober at this point, so it was entertaining to hear about his exploits from the night before. He's a bit out of control because he just broke up with his girlfriend, doesn't have job and is sleeping on his pal's couch but he'll be fine. He just needs to relax, focus and heal. Don't we all.


"Do you smoke cigars," Counselor asked. I do so I took it. It was pretty dried out but it wasn't bad. I love smoking cigars & blowing smoke rings. But that cigar led to cigarettes. I prob had 4 over the course of the late afternoon. Not terrible but unnecessary. I hole-heartedly admit I lost my will power on this one. But 4 cigarettes is not going to kill me so I'm not going to beat myself up about it.


6.00p-ish rolls around and we're hungry so the 3 of us head off to Pumi for sushi. That hit the spot. I could eat sushi every week. The sushi chef recommended "super white tuna" so we tried it. Possibly the most yummy sushi I've ever had. Like butter, creamy. Counselor flipped the bill for dinner too (shocker #4). He's pretty generous now. I just remember the days when he was broke and I paid for everything. It's nice to be taken care of sometimes.


After a bottle of sake and too many pieces of sushi to count we called it a night.


Church, oysters, cigar, martinis, ponies, cigarettes, sake & sushi. It was a great Easter.